First time shopping :-)

August 2015

Weight – 78kg

I cannot tell you the sheer joy and elation I felt on my first shopping trip for new clothes after my surgery. I had already donated all of my plus size clothes to charity shops during my weight loss so far and now was the last of them. Here is a pick of a jumper I kept, a bit of fun, but also shows just how big my clothes were before.

I didn’t have a clue what size I would need, but for the first time I wasn’t worried about finding clothes to fit me. In truth it was a bit overwhelming. Thankfully Tony was with me and he is very patient and also has great taste in clothes so he helped me choose a few items. I started with just a few tops, I got size 16. OMG! Size 28-30 to size 16. I tried on a dress and I was like a kid in a sweet shop in the changing room. I danced around like a loon and was admiring my reflection for the first time in my life “looking hot Claire” ha ha ha. I phoned my mum, “I fitted into size 16 mum (screaming) SIZE 16”.

A few weeks later, when I was able to drive again, we went on a special shopping trip to acquire an item of clothing that was a real milestone moment for me. I had always wanted a pair of Levi 501’s. I had never been able to get a pair to fit me before and it was on my bucket list. I tried on a few pairs and found a pair I liked. With a great big smile on my face I bought them, even got 20% student discount, result!. That night we went out in my new outfit (top photo) and I felt great. I also bought the most amazing dress for my brothers wedding shown below. Lots of my family didn’t even recognise me and had to check it was actually me. I felt a million dollars that day, me in a dress that was a first!

I was still wearing my corset, and would need to keep wearing it for at least 3 months but I was healing well and was now using bio-oil to help with the scarring. After 6 weeks I didn’t need to go back to hospital for anymore check ups and I wasn’t to see the surgeon again for 6 weeks. I was always able to call the hospital should I have any problems, fortunately I didn’t need to. My mobility was improving daily and I was out walking lots. My strength was returning. There was one incident though that was a bit upsetting. Now that my wounds had all healed over I wanted to go for a swim. I bought a new swimming costume and off I went. I got into the pool and attempted to set off with a breast stroke only to find I literally could not do it. I am not exaggerating when I say I had absolutely no strength at all and couldn’t even do one stroke. It was horrible. I have always been a fairly strong swimmer and I felt like I couldn’t swim. I was also conscious that I was being watched by the other swimmers. I must have looked ridiculous. I fought the urge to get straight out and instead just went to the side and tread water for a little while. I eventually got out. Wouldn’t be doing that again for a while!

Apart from that little incident all was well and it was time to start preparing myself for my final year at university. It was going to be the toughest year yet and I needed to be focused and well.

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

Back Home

 

July 2015

Weight before surgery – 88kg

Weight after surgery – 81kg

Returning home was a welcome but scary prospect. On the one hand it is better to be out of hospital and back in your own familiar environment with the home comforts, on the other hand you are now on your own. I was sent home with a bag full of various dressings which I was now responsible for changing every day and a list of do’s and don’ts to stick to. No hoovering or other housework, not a bad thing ! Plenty of rest, and short walks at first building up to longer ones.

I wouldn’t say I was experiencing pain as such, just discomfort. The surgical corset really helped. It is the weirdest feeling, sometimes it literally felt like I was going to actually fall apart and the corset was the only thing keeping me together. Before my surgery the surgeon has explained that though 6kg was removed (yes, 6 kilo’s!), that would not mean I would actually lose 6kg in weight, however, that is exactly what I lost which was amazing. Almost 1 stone in a matter of hours.

The day after my return home it was time for a shower. My journey so far had presented a number of challenges and some traumatic situations, but this can be counted as one of the worst. Not only for me, but more so for Tony. He had not yet seen the extent of my wound incisions and this would be the first time. I tried to prepare him as best I could, but honestly I don’t think anything could have prepared him, or me for the shock. I took off my corset slowly and revealed what can only be described as looking like I had been eaten by a shark. We both got upset and I really cried. After the initial shock we just got on with things and very carefully had a shower. Instantly I felt better. After a surgery like this it is a bit of a military operation showering and then changing dressings, applying creams and so on but you get used to it quickly. After a week or so I had it down to a T.

In the weeks following surgery I had to go back to the hospital weekly for check ups. The nurses and my surgeon were very happy with my healing process and I didn’t experience any issues thankfully. I was warned that due to the extent of my surgery, I may have some problems with fluid build up and possible infections but I was lucky and I did not. My surgeon was actually very chuffed and admitted he was surprised at how well I was healing. Go me!!!  Here is a photo about 2 weeks post op.

Next time, my first shopping trip 🙂

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time

Claire xxx

 

After surgery

Hello and welcome back to my blog.

Thursday July 9th 2015

Before I start I want to just let you know that I will be adding some photo’s of surgery, they are not that graphic or horrible, but I just wanted to warn you in advance.

After a restless night I was feeling exhausted and emotional. Thankfully I was still not experiencing a pain due to the lovely drugs I was receiving. As some of you that have had operations will know recovering from anesthetic takes a little while, I call it fuzzy head. I was a bit tearful and wanted my mum. I called her and had a talk and then felt a bit better. If you remember, I did the same thing after my gastric by-pass surgery. I had some breakfast and tea and started to feel a bit better.

My memory of the day after surgery is a bit of a blur. I was in and out of sleep, woken up regularly for obs and drugs and to have lunch. Tony visited and we watched some t.v but I was pretty useless. The surgeon came at some point and checked me over, I didn’t actually look at this point as I was not quite ready to see the surgery yet.

Friday July 10th 2015

I had another restless night but I did start to feel a bit more like myself the following day. I was told that today they would take the catheter out and I would be able to get out of bed and move to the chair. I thought, ok, that sounds like a good plan. I was a relief to have the catheter out, it is very uncomfortable, convenient, but uncomfortable. The nurses came in accompanied by two physio therapists. I remember thinking, why all the people? I soon realised why. Sitting me up and moving me from the bed to the chair next to the bed took ten minutes!  It felt like none of the muscles in my body were working at all, It didn’t hurt but it was hard work. The nurses said I did very well, but I felt useless. I had been warned that it would be like this but it was worse than I had expected. Because the surgery cuts through the core muscles you literally lose all your strength. Even just moving an arm is an effort. Going to the toilet was a military operation. I had a bag containing my vacuum drain which went over my shoulder and the four other drains to carry. It gave another meaning to bag lady, I was bottle lady! Tony visited and was pleased to see me up and looking better. We had dinner together, the food at the hospital really was very nice indeed.

Saturday July 11th 2015

Today I was more mobile, it was easier to get up for the loo, and I was encouraged to walk around the ward. I some visitors which was nice and chatted away to the nurses. I did do something very silly though. I spilled boiling hot water over my leg, it hurt, a lot! I called the nurses who came rushing in and gave me cream to help the burn. I also has an awful hour of sickness and terrible heartburn. It was all the drugs I think, I had some medicine and it got better. Had a bit of a nightmare this afternoon. The doctor came to administer my antibiotic through my I.V  but my veins had collapsed to only 15% so it would not go through properly and it bloody hurt. He had to sit for 30 minutes until it had all finally gone. He kept on apologising bless him. (Between me and you though, he was pretty hot stuff so I didn’t mind at all that he had to stay ;-)). Tomorrow is the day the surgeon will remove my vacuum drain and stitch me back together. It should be ok I think.

Sunday July 12th 2015

There are no words to describe. I was given morphine at 7am. My surgeon arrived at 7-30am. He removed the vacuum drain which was not too bad, then he proceeded to stitch me back together. The stitches had been put in place during surgery and just needed to be pulled together to seal the wound. Now, this sounds ok doesn’t it? That is exactly what I thought, however, it was the single most painful 3 minutes of my life. The morphine had no effect, and with no anesthetic I felt everything. As you can imagine it was already pretty swollen and sore. I actually screamed. Afterwards I was traumatised so I called my mum and I cried like a baby. The reason the procedure was done without anesthetic was because it was so quick and they didn’t want to give me anymore as I had enough body trauma already. I understand the logic, but I still would have preferred not to had to go through that! Anyway, it was done. One drain out, four to go.  The first two were taken out later that morning and came out without a hitch. The next two were to come out the following day, something to look forward to. Here is a photo taken the day after the drain was removed.

You can see the 6 stitches below the bottom incision. I always think I look like a shark has taken a big bite out of me!

Monday July 13th 2015

Feeling so much better today. Now that heavy drain is out I feel lighter already. The nurses came in the morning to remove the last two drains. The left one came out easily but we had issues with the right one. Because I simply could not leave without another episode of pain, because that is just what I needed, I had so more! The tube inside had become stuck as tissue had started to form around it, I know, it sounds gross. Anyway, with a lot of pulling and tugging and moving into various positions the nurse eventually managed to pull it free but oh dear me, it stung like acid. Thankfully, now all the drains were out I could go home. Hurray 🙂

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

Out of surgery. Yippeeee it’s gone :-)

 

Hello and welcome back.

Here I am looking a bit spaced out after surgery, very high on drugs, thank the universe for drugs!

Surgery took about four and a half hours and went well and according to plan. One thing I want to mention here which I have only touched upon before, is the impact that my journey has had on my family and friends and most of all my partner Tony. Quite often, when we are on a personal mission for self improvement such as this, we forget to consider the affect it will have on the people who love us. I want to thank everyone who sent messages and called, I know you were all worried and I’m sorry to put you through it. I know you all support me 100% but I also know you were concerned too.

I am happy to report that I woke up pain free. When I woke up in the recovery room my surgeon came straight over. He did not ask me how I was feeling at first, instead he blurted out that he had broken his personal record by removing 6kg of excess skin and tissue and he was very pleased with himself. It’s not that he wasn’t interested in how I was, he was just animated about the achievement and the huge difference it was going to make to my life. I spent a little time coming round and then was moved back up to my room to a very relieved Tony.

Back on the ward the nurses actually commented that I didn’t even look like I had just had surgery at all. FOOD, I needed food, give me food! I was so hungry. I had a sandwich and a cup of tea and all was well. So, the details. The actual surgery itself was covered up with a surgical corset so I couldn’t get a look. However, what was evident was that I was missing one rather large tummy. It didn’t look like my body, it was a bit strange. I had four ordinary drains and one vacuum drain, I also had a catheter and the inflating DVT pads. I looked a right state. It was a bit shocking for Tony and also a bit frightening but I assured him that I felt fine. I couldn’t move very well, even to sit up, I felt about four hundred stone and stiff.

Here is a photo of me wrapped up, just so you can see the corset. It was taken once I was back home.

I am sure most people know what drains are, but some may not of heard of a vacuum drain. I shall explain. Due to the extent of my surgery and the trauma due to the huge wounds, the surgeon thought I would produce significant amount of fluid. He decided that it was best to leave the area where the two incisions met open for a few days to allow for the fluid to be collected. The vacuum drain does exactly what it sounds like; it sucks the fluid out and stores it in a container. It’s pretty weird knowing you have an open wound, but it was only for a few days.

The first night I didn’t get much sleep. I had to have regular obs taken and drugs and antibiotics administered through my I.V. I wasn’t in any real pain though which was good. Because I had a catheter I didn’t have to move from my bed, I had initially been a bit reluctant to have one, but I was very thankful I had it as the thought of trying to get up was a little terrifying. I thought I might fall apart which I know sounds a little extreme but that is how it felt.  I had prepared myself as much as someone possibly can for the recovery period but nothing really ever prepares you and the next few days would be a real challenge.

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

Plastic surgery day

Hello and welcome back.

Wednesday July 8th 2015

Today is the day. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today I am having the biggest and scariest surgery I have ever had. Today I am both nervous and excited.

I have not posted anything on Facebook about my surgery yet and I have only told a few close friends and family. However, this morning I have posted about having my surgery and asked for everyone to wish me luck and send positive thoughts. I figure the more positive energy I can generate the better, plus I know my friend is watching over me from the stars. I want to just take a moment to thank everyone for all of your messages and support, I felt very loved 🙂

So, before I go on, I want to share with you a photo of exactly what I am about to have removed. I wasn’t sure if I was going to start posting images of myself showing my bits and bobs, but after long discussions with my partner and mum I decided it was best to be completely open and honest to show my true journey. I hope that this is ok with everyone.

This photo was taken about 5 minutes before my surgeon came in to start drawing all over me with a black marker. Unfortunately I don’t have a photo of that because it really was quite funny. As you can see there is a lot of excess and it was heavy to carry around. I very much look forward to saying goodbye to it.

As I am paying privately for my surgery I am in a very nice hospital (actually a bit too posh for me!) I have a lovely private room and have been presented with menu’s for my meals and the choices are very nice indeed. I look forward to eating later as I have been fasting since 10pm last night.

I have my gown and DVT socks, which I can report fitted without issue after the palarva when I had my gastric op. Off we go to theatre.

Thanks for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

5 days to go ! (oaks)

 

July 2015

Weight- 13 stone 7 pounds (87.1 kg)

Total loss- 11 stone 8 pounds (75.4 kg)

I am happy to report that I finished my second year at university with a first class. GO ME!!!! I am feeling very accomplished, and a little bit clever ha ha. It was tough, and with the events of the past 6 months, it was definitely a real challenge, but I did it. I am also feeling so much more confident and I am enjoying shopping for clothes for the first time in my life. I don’t dread going into shops or feel that terrible sense of anxiety and stress. I actually see things in windows and know that I will be able to fit into them. I am still I size 16-18 but most stores do that size. I am finally able to say goodbye to the plus size shops. Even though they go down to a size 14 I have made a deal with myself that I will never ever go into those stores again. I do, however, have a rather large amount of flopping excess skin on my tummy which is not at all attractive. But I know that I will be getting that removed pretty soon so I look forward to it.

I had my pre-assessment appointment. Unlike my previous appointments with my surgeon, this was with a staff nurse and it was more focused on the details of my surgery and medical history. Since my decision to go ahead and have the abdominoplasty surgery I have known that there was going to be pain involved and this was stressed to me further by the nurse. She really was very nice and all the time she was reassuring me that was going to be so happy with the results and that it would all be worth it.

I am a little nervous and apprehensive, but also excited. This is the next step in my journey and from fear of sounding dramatic, I know it is going to change my life. Levi jeans here I come! (I have always wanted a pair of levi’s but never been able to get a pair to fit)

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

I just want to let you know that in my next posts I will be adding post surgery images that some people may find a bit graphic. Just a friendly warning 🙂

First appointment with my plastic surgeon

 

February 2015

Here we go ! Today I had my first appointment with the surgeon who I have chosen to perform my skin removal surgery. The official name for the surgery is abdomioplasty and I will be having a technique called the fleur de lys. The decision to perform this specific technique was made by the surgeon after he had examined me. I have two sections of excess skin on my tummy so I will need more than the more common tummy tuck surgery. The examination was a little uncomfortable, not due to the surgeon who was extremely professional, but because in a nut shell he pulled, shoved and squished me about. He estimated that he will remove approximately 4.2 Kilo’s of excess from my tummy which is a huge amount. He also examined my breasts and commented on the fact that they were very out of shape and lost almost all the structure, in fact he measured approximately 14cm between where they fall now and where they should actually be.
After the examination we discussed my options and during this time he informed me that he would not be able to perform both my breast reduction and tummy tuck surgeries together. There were a number of reasons why, the main one being the time it will take to perform the tummy tuck itself. He explained that it can be too dangerous to lengthen the time under anesthetic more than 5 hours and that the tummy surgery would take at least 4 hours. Of course I was initially disappointed as I really did want to have both procedures at the same time so that there would be just one recovery period and I would have had what I had wanted done in one go.

All in all it was a good appointment I was happy and felt confident about my surgeon and the surgery. Actually, I was more than happy, I was starting to get excited to finally be able to go shopping without stressing out about my size. Surgery was booked for July, just my term and exams to do in university to do first.

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

How was I carrying that 10 stone?

January 2015

Weight – 15 stone 5 pounds (98.6 kg)

Total loss – 10 stone 6 pounds (63.9 kg)

Since my last post I have had a bit of a nightmare. Remember I told you about the bad reaction I sometimes get to certain foods? Well, it turns out I had gallstones. Unfortunately, I spent Christmas eve in Cardiff hospital on lots of painkillers until I was allowed to go home Christmas morning. I can honestly say I had not experienced pain like it before and it was very, very frightening. More so because I had had such a significant surgery and I was worried something was wrong. I then found out that gallstones are a very a common post-operative issue and 70% of patients get them. I was referred for surgery to have my gallbladder removed and luckily I didn’t have to wait too long. The operation was scheduled for April 2nd. During the wait I had a couple of pain attacks but at least I knew the cause. It was an unwelcome side effect but I was just glad it was a fairly straightforward procedure.

In January I also had an appointment with the dietician and the bariatric surgeon at Homerton and they were both very happy with my progress and weight loss. I was only in there for 20 minutes, a long trip for such a short time but necessary. They asked me about my diet and if I was having any problems to which I told them I seemed to be ok and was adapting well. Amongst the obvious concerns about having such a huge surgery, my mum’s other concern was my love of cooking and food and how I was going to cope with this after the operation. I can honestly say that I actually love cooking more than I did before and of course I still absolutely LOVE FOOD!!! I enjoy adapting recipes and buying new ingredients I’ve never tried before. Tony and I have never eaten so well.

I’m afraid at this point I have some bad news. After my birthday, turning the big 4.0 and a visit home to Wales, 2 days before my operation to have my gallbladder removed, I lost my longest and very best friend in a terrible accident. I won’t go into detail but as you can imagine it was an incredibly difficult time. I did go ahead with the operation as my friend would have told me to and I had enough time to recover before travelling back to Wales for the funeral. Unfortunately things got a bit worse. 2 weeks after the operation and 5 days before the funeral I woke up in the most incredible pain I have ever felt in my whole life. Honestly, it was worse than the gallstones. It was shooting up my right side to my shoulder and I literally could not breathe. I screamed for Tony and told him I thought I was going to die and to call an ambulance. I was so scared, but the pain even stopped the tears. Of course, I was not actually dying, but can you believe it? I now had kidney stones which were passing through. If any of you have ever had kidney stones you will understand how much pain they cause. I found out that again, this was another post-op issue that effects some patients. I spent 4 nights in hospital hooked up to painkillers until eventually the pain subsided and I was able to leave. The whole time I was panicking that I would miss my friend’s funeral but fortunately I made it just in time.

Though this was an incredibly difficult time I was doing well at university and looking forward to the future. Next time I will tell you about the next stage, plastic surgery!

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time.

Claire x

 

Adapting to the rapidly changing me

August 2014

Weight – 18 stone 7 pounds (119kg)

Total loss – 6 stone 7 pounds (43.5 kg)

First year of university done, results in, got a 2:1. I am incredibly happy as that is quite the achievement under the circumstances! Had a few ups and downs since my last post which I expected, however, nothing really prepares you for the dramatic and rapid changes both physically and psychologically. My diet was improving though I still couldn’t drink my beloved coffee. I was learning that some foods were more tolerable than others in terms of digestion and what caused me to have stomach cramps. One instance that will forever stick in my mind was making the mistake of eating a Haribo sweet given to me by my grandson. I’ll explain what happens when you have a new digestive system that is more sensitive than the old one; when you eat something that disagrees with you, it is the worst feeling. You literally cannot move from the pain of stomach spasms and cramps. The good news is it lasts no longer than an hour or so but you have to just ride it out. Constipation is obviously an ongoing issue and will remain so indefinitely. This has been confirmed by others I have spoken to who have had the surgery. Another significant issue is the fatigue. Out of nowhere all the petrol in my tank runs out and I am exhausted. Even when I was at my heaviest I did not experience such tiredness, the smallest activity drains you. I hope that this improves over time.

During the summer the absolute worst thing that happened was the hair-loss.  As the photo above shows, I cut my hair short and at the time this was not out of choice. My lovely thick glossy blonde hair was falling out by the handful. I had been warned by the hospital that this would happen but I still was not prepared for how traumatic it was. I have to say though that my trauma was temporary and as each day passed, the excitement of my physical transformation far outweighed the upset about my hair. I remembered what the lovely nurse told me after my mini breakdown the after the surgery “In a few months you will see your reflection in a shop window and not recognise yourself” and she was absolutely right!

I spent the rest of the summer recovering and building up my strength doing a lot of walking preparing to return for my second year at university.

Thank you for reading my blog, see you next time 🙂

Claire x